What’s So Funny?: Meat on a schtick: Denver

By steak Wednesday August 12, 2009

By Adam Cayton-Holland July 30, 2009

Great news, Denver dicks: There’s a brand new joint in town where you can unfurl your manhood! Yes, you heard me right, backslapping members of the city’s rich, white elite. Next time you feel like taking out that spray-tan of a leather sofa you call your girlfriend, forget taking her to The Capital Grill then to Spill for bottle-service. Screw dry-cleaning that mink holocaust your third-wife loves so much and then heading down to either Del Frisco’s or the Cool River Cafe in the DTC. That shit is played out, playboy.

The next time you feel like acting self-important in a city that is anything but, may I suggest hitting up a new spot called Fogo de Chão downtown? Or have you not yet heard of Denver’s newest, hottest, most identical-to-a-hotel-banquet-hall churrascaria?

That leaves you in pretty exclusive company then, because everyone who was anyone was on hand at the Brazilian steakhouse last week for the grand opening. And by everyone who was anyone, I mean Mayor John Hickenlooper and Nenê. Other than that it was just a flock of cheese-dick, white-toothed assholes doddering after their bobble-headed girlfriends, then row after opportunistic row of miserable-looking press types, there to festoon their kidneys with free alcohol and pocket cheese squares for their cats.